~The tear stained cheeks of yesterday are hidden underneath the cover of a gleeful trance. I wipe off the mask and glaze into your unknowing eyes. I kiss your lips. slowly the stains fade and tomorrow shows its light.~
It was early in the morning, approximately 7:00 am on Monday. Chaplin, Connecticut was at its calmest then. The orange and yellow leaves of Autumn brushed against my boots as I pushed my way up the sidewalks. Chilly gusts of wind filled my lungs and bit at my nose. The elderly men sat bundled up in coats near the Mansfield’s Bakery playing chess as they drank their morning coffee and nibbled on their bagels. I was also dressed according to the weather. Because I did not waste time getting prepared for school, I head to the Chaplin Library so I can squeeze in some extra reading time. Unlike most of the teenagers my age I had an interest in things other than the local gossip and Teen Mom. I reached the oversized wooden doors to the library and stepped inside, was comfortably toasty and quiet. There was nobody inside except for Linda, the 76 year old librarian. “Right on time as usual deary” she had long white hair and reminded me of one of the hobbits from Lord of the Rings. “Good morning Linda, how are you?” she smiled, nodded her head and continued to shuffle through a stack of books. The long wooden table that I sat at was textured with the pen carvings of past civilians that would come here to study or escape from the rest of the world. For me I was doing the second, escaping. I found it intriguing that each book held something significant, this quite possibly could be why I read. To me nothing was more relaxing than to sit under the stained glass windows reading a book as the sun soaked into your skin. Closing my eyes I remembered coming here every morning with my mother when I was younger. My mother and I lived in a small two bedroom apartment on the “other side of the tracks”. My mom was a waitress at a small café called Burney’s. My father was nonexistent. I suppose it was one of those regular drunken hookups. That didn’t bother me in the least. It was the fact that my mother was actually sexually active. I cringed at the thought. I just remember being full of such joy when we came here. It was the only place that I was able to be myself and enjoy life. Upon returning to my shady reality I reached into my bag and pulled out one of the three books I was currently obsessed with. I skimmed through the pages until I reached the bent corner page that I had set as a bookmark. “You know I’ve been told that why bookmarks were invented.” In the corner of my eye I could see a big yellow bookmark slide across the table towards my direction. I looked up to see who had interrupted me but all I saw was a young girl that looked around my age walking away towards the front desk. She had in her hands two books and large purse hung loosely on her shoulder. She had long brown hair that wildly covered most of her back. I watched in curious silence as she checked out her books and went on her way. The large yellow bookmark said in large red letters “Don’t Forget To Smile!” This day is going to be filled with enormous amounts of sarcasm. I placed the bookmark on the page that I left off, threw the books in my backpack and left for school.
As I approached the teenage hell I was of course greeted by the stench of overpowering hair spray and massive amounts of Stetson Cologne that everyone other than myself use on a daily bases. forcefully made my way up the stairs of the school. Inside the smell of popular assholes filled my nose, as im sure the smell of fear filled theirs. An ironic sign saying “Heaven On Earth ~ Prom 2011” hung from end to end of the hallway leading to my locker. I suppose that the sign was put up last night for the reveal this morning, because all that I could hear walking down the hall were girls gushing over what dress they would wear and what guys were planning on getting laid. The sign should have said “Shallow! ~ Prom 2011” This day is destined to drudge, and I undoubtably will regret not faking sick. At least there was one good thing about school, the last bell on Friday.
"And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; so that now, to still the beating of my heart.."
When the time fourth period rolled around i was sick to my stomach, not so much from school as the repulsive food they shoved down our esophagus for lunch. You would think I was smart enough to bring my own lunch and not have to deal with putting myself at risk of dying, but jocks can smell real food from anywhere, this means I would go without food. Once again I have outwitted the system. I sat at my desk feeling like I was going to burst at any second when she walked in. It was the same girl that I had encountered at the Library earlier this morning. Of course you could here the guys whispering and chuckling with excitement. I have no reason to blame them. She was stunningly beautiful, but seemingly plain. No jewelry, barely any makeup. She was wearing a simple blue shirt and pants, with converse shoes. I looked down at my own worn out converses and sighed. "Im hoping this is the science room?" she smirked. "Why yes, yes it is. I am Mr.Snout the science teacher and you are?" was it just me, or did he seem a little to excited....dork. "My name is Jacy Lynn, my family and I just moved here from Texas." Good god what is she thinking. I wanted to tell her "Leave why you can! RUN!" Mr. Stout was VERY welcoming. "We are truly honored you could grace us with your presence today Jacy Lynn. Please have a seat by Ashton." At that time i realized what truly being sick felt like. She happily pranced to the seat where my backpack currently resided. I felt uncomfortably in the way when she asked if i could remove my shit from her new seat, and smiled after. I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or if she was the missing president to the Bitch Club at school.
